Saturday, 16 July 2011

Claude Monet

Wants his gan.
14th Nov 1840 - 19th Dec 1926




Bit of a radgie, apparently. Well, he was in the art world anyway. He wasn't a dafty in the classic sense of word mind - he didn't try setting up potato printing workshops in the Garter or anything like that. He and his mates did cause a bit of a stink in the Paris art world of the mid-19th Century though, earning him the nickname 'le Whiff' in the process.

Monet, his twin brother Manet, and their mates; Pissarro, Renoir, Sisley and Cezanne developed a new style of painting through their use of colour applied with short brush strokes and a preference for contemporary subjects in their work, such as cliffs, haystacks and boulevards - the usual. They became known as the Impressionists after it transpired at their first exhibition in 1874 that Renoir did a brilliant impression of Victor Hugo, on the toilet. The name stuck and they were forced to exhibit under it for the rest of their careers despite the eventual disintegration of relationships within the group. Monet eventually absconded to the Netherlands after Pissarro grew a bigger beard than him, they never spoke again and all subsequent Monet males were painted clean-shaven. 

In Holland Monet succumbed to the stereotypical temptations - gabber, total football and an insistence on wearing Nike Air Max at all times. In time Dutch culture began to have a debilitating effect on Monet and realising he was spending increasing amounts of time hanging around cheese markets, rambling on to himself about polders, he decided to return to France. Back in his motherland, free to pronounce 'onion' without fear of ridicule, Monet put his time in the Netherlands behind him and produced what would become his most famous works - with the second biggest beard in France and a pond as his muse.

Status: Dead
Lookalike: Grizzly Adams with a grade 4
In Three Words: Gabber! Gabber! Gabber!

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